I have heard so many fundies (and non-fundies for that matter) try to defend corporal punishment. Some fundies are against child protection laws and DSS (department of social services). These people believe that whatever punishment the parent deals out ought to be acceptable. God ordained corporal punishment as acceptable and the parents as the only child rearers. These people love to use the verse in Proverbs which states 'Spare the rod, spoil the child.' In fact, most of the verses I hear used as excuses to continue the practice come from books of the Bible supposidly written by Solomon. Did anyone ever take a glance at what his heir became? The next king in line was a malicious, cruel, bloodthirsty tyrant. Maybe Solomon is supposed to be the wisest man in history, but I have to agree with Jim out of Huckleberry Finn on this one. Who in their right mind would want upwards of 200 wives?!?! Proverbs also talks about how it's better to live on the corner of the roof than in the house with an angry woman. Hmm... Wonder how much he was actually inside his house(s)?
My father had the same attitude as the fundies when I was growing up. It was his right to discipline my brother and me in whatever way he chose. Most of the kids in my town had it the same way, too. Some of the men also took it upon themselves to 'discipline' (beat) their wives. Half of the the married couples in the town ended up getting divorces. I had friends who ended up getting chased with steak knives by their parents, getting baseball bats slung at them, being thrown against walls, being chased around by drunk parents, being raped by their own fathers, and broken bones because of parents weren't all that rare. Every single one of us bottled it up and bottled it up. I saw five of them have a complete melt down and stay suicidal for years. When I say suicidal, I mean suicidal. Slitting wrists, getting into drugs, crying all the time--They did it all. One of them had three relapses. I don't think any of them are over it to this day.
My remembered experience started when I was two. I remember my father spanking my diaper off with his bare hands. I always wondered how long he had to have spanked me and how hard he must have hit. What scared me the most as a child was how mad he must have been.
My parent fought all the time when I was young. My mother has had serious depression (like borderline pschitzophrenia) since she was nineteen or twenty. He would agrivate her and keep on until she would get mad. Then he would get mad at her reaction. I can understand how he might not have understood in the beginning. But how can you be twenty-five and not recognize a pattern that your five year old child does? He agrivates her until she's ticked her off and they fight. How hard is that to comprehend, especially when it happens three or four times a week?
His anger at my mother would come out in his discipline of me. When I showed anger, I got punished more. Eventually, I just bottled it all up. The average for me was five or six licks. I don't mean swats. I mean licks with a leather belt from a man who could bench press two hundred pounds and swinging as hard as he could. I look back now and wonder if maybe all those spankings have something to do my back problems. My brother was born when I was six. I could always take the abuse and move on, but I couldn't stand it when my brother was subjected to the same torture that I was. My brother wasn't spanked as much as me, but he was always given more licks. I was thirteen when I had had enough. My brother was seven years old, and he had trouble with squirming a lot. The first time I heard of ADHD I was eleven (he was five at the time). I took one look at my brother and said, 'Yep, he's got it'. My father didn't believe in chemical imbalances (still doesn't). My mother didn't understand them at the time (she wouldn't be diagnosed until a year later), and she was still playing the submissive little wife at the time. My brother couldn't be still at the doctor's office. The consequence: the threat of spanking on the way home, a long lecture after we got home, and then eight licks with a belt. I was in the next room counting. I watched my father with hatred for a week. Things like that happened once a month for almost three years. Then it just stopped one day and never happened again. I had all that bottled it all up though, and it took years of meditation, confiding, and sports to get it all out.
People justify corporal punishment all the time. Maybe most parents don't do what my friends and I went through. The problem, though, is that some parents will. They teach their children that violence is love. I've often wondered if there is some connection with the coutries that have low violence rates (low numbers of beatings, murders, etc.) and many of them having abolished corporal punishment.
